How to Survive Middle School. Middle school is a big step in any teen's life. You will be facing challenging classes, may experience your first crush or attend your. Bullying Prevention Awareness Month is over, and unfortunately it had a horrific run of high-profile tragedies: two teacher fatalities at the hands of students. And speaking about what schools can do—not merely to try to handle bullying once it has happened but to prevent it from happening in the first place.

Banner in a campaign against bullying. Bullying is the use of force, threat, or to,, or aggressively others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict.

Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal or, physical or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Of such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size, or ability. If bullying is done by a group, it is called. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. The has no legal definition of bullying, while some states in the have laws against it.

Bullying is divided into four basic types of abuse – (sometimes called relational),,, and cyber. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion, such as intimidation. Bullying ranges from one-on-one, individual bullying through to group bullying called, in which the bully may have one or more 'lieutenants' who may seem to be willing to assist the primary bully in his or her bullying activities. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse. Has analyzed bullying in the context of.

A can develop in any context in which humans interact with each other. This includes, family, the, home, and neighborhoods. The main platform for bulling is on social media websites In a 2012 study of male adolescent American football players, 'the strongest predictor [of bullying] was the perception of whether the most influential male in a player's life would approve of the bullying behavior'. Bullying synonyms There is no universal definition of bullying, however, it is widely agreed upon that bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior characterized by the following three minimum criteria: (1) hostile intent, (2) imbalance of power, and (3) repetition over a period of time.

Bullying may thus be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally or emotionally. The Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus says bullying occurs when a person is 'exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons'.

He says negative actions occur 'when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways.' Individual bullying is usually characterized by a person behaving in a certain way to gain over another person. Types Individual bullying can be classified into four types. Collective bullying is known as mobbing, and can include any of the individual types of bullying.

Physical, verbal, and relational bullying are most prevalent in primary school and could also begin much earlier whilst continuing into later stages in individuals lives. It is stated that Cyber-bullying is more common in secondary school than in primary school.

Individual Individual bullying tactics can be perpetrated by a single person against a target or targets. Physical This is any bullying that hurts someone’s body or damages their possessions. Stealing, shoving, hitting, fighting, and destroying property all are types of physical bullying. Physical bullying is rarely the first form of bullying that a target will experience. Often bullying will begin in a different form and later progress to physical violence. In physical bullying the main weapon the bully uses is their body when attacking their target.Sometimes groups of young adults will target and alienate a peer because of some adolescent prejudice. This can quickly lead to a situation where they are being taunted, tortured, and beaten-up by their classmates.

Physical bullying can lead to a tragic ending and therefore must be stopped quickly to prevent any further escalation. Verbal This is any bullying that is conducted by speaking. Calling names, spreading rumors, threatening somebody, and making fun of others are all forms of verbal bullying. Verbal bullying is one of the most common types of bullying. In verbal bullying the main weapon the bully uses is their voice. In many cases, verbal bullying is the province of girls. Girls are more subtle (and can be more devastating), in general, than boys.

Girls use verbal bullying, as well as social exclusion techniques, to dominate and control other individuals and show their superiority and power. However, there are also many boys with subtlety enough to use verbal techniques for domination, and who are practiced in using words when they want to avoid the trouble that can come with physically bullying someone else.

Relational This is any bullying that is done with the intent to hurt somebody’s reputation or social standing which can also link in with the techniques included in physical and verbal bullying. Relational Bullying is a form of bullying common amongst youth, but particularly upon girls. Relational bullying can be used as a tool by bullies to both improve their social standing and control others. Unlike physical bullying which is obvious, relational bullying is not overt and can continue for a long time without being noticed. Cyber-bullying Cyber bullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person.

When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyberstalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time. This includes email, instant messaging, social networking sites (such as Facebook), text messages, and cell phones. Collective Collective bullying tactics are employed by more than one individual against a target or targets. On social media, although generally assumed to be individual in nature by the casual reader, is sometime organized efforts by sponsored. This section may lend to certain ideas, incidents, or controversies. Please help to create a more balanced presentation. Discuss and this issue before removing this message.

(May 2014) Of bullies and accomplices Studies have shown that and resentment may be motives for bullying. Research on the self-esteem of bullies has produced equivocal results. While some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic, they can also use bullying as a tool to conceal shame or anxiety or to boost self-esteem: by demeaning others, the abuser feels empowered. Bullies may bully out of jealousy or because they themselves are bullied. Psychologist asserts that people who are prone to abusive behavior tend to have inflated but fragile egos.

Because they think too highly of themselves, they are frequently offended by the criticisms and lack of deference of other people, and react to this disrespect with violence and insults. [ ] Researchers have identified other risk factors such as depression and, as well as quickness to anger and use of force, addiction to aggressive behaviors, mistaking others' actions as hostile, concern with preserving, and engaging in obsessive or rigid actions.

A combination of these factors may also be causes of this behavior. In one study of youth, a combination of antisocial traits and depression was found to be the best predictor of youth violence, whereas video game violence and exposure were not predictive of these behaviors. Bullying may also result from a genetic predisposition or a brain abnormality in the bully.

While parents can help a toddler develop emotional regulation and control to restrict aggressive behavior, some children fail to develop these skills due to insecure attachment with their families, ineffective discipline, and environmental factors such as a stressful home life and hostile siblings. Moreover, according to some researchers, bullies may be inclined toward negativity and perform poorly academically. Cook says that 'a typical bully has trouble resolving problems with others and also has trouble academically. He or she usually has negative attitudes and beliefs about others, feels negatively toward himself/herself, comes from a family environment characterized by conflict and poor parenting, perceives school as negative and is negatively influenced by peers'. Contrarily, some researchers have suggested that some bullies are psychologically strongest and have high social standing among their peers, while their targets are emotionally distressed and socially marginalized.

Peer groups often promote the bully's actions, and members of these peer groups also engage in behaviors, such as mocking, excluding, punching, and insulting one another as a source of entertainment. Other researchers also argued that a minority of the bullies, those who are not in-turn bullied, enjoy going to school, and are least likely to take days off sick. Research indicates that adults who bully have authoritarian personalities, combined with a strong need to control or dominate.

It has also been suggested that a prejudicial view of subordinates can be a particularly strong risk factor. Of typical bystanders Often, bullying takes place in the presence of a large group of relatively uninvolved bystanders. In many cases, it is the bully's ability to create the illusion that he or she has the support of the majority present that instills the fear of 'speaking out' in protestation of the bullying activities being observed by the group. Unless the 'bully mentality' is effectively challenged in any given group in its early stages, it often becomes an accepted, or supported, within the group. Unless action is taken, a ' is often perpetuated within a group for months, years, or longer.

Bystanders who have been able to establish their own 'friendship group' or 'support group' have been found to be far more likely to opt to speak out against bullying behavior than those who have not. In addition to communication of clear expectations that bystanders should intervene and increasing individual self-efficacy, there is growing research that suggests interventions should build on the foundation that bullying is morally wrong. Among adults, being a bystander to workplace bullying was linked to depression, particularly in women. Of victims Dr.

Cook says that 'A typical victim is likely to be aggressive, lack social skills, think negative thoughts, experience difficulties in solving social problems, come from a negative family, school and community environments and be noticeably rejected and isolated by peers'. Victims often have characteristics such as being physically weak, as well as being easily distraught emotionally. They may also have physical characteristics that make them easier targets for bullies such as being overweight or having some type of physical deformity. Boys are more likely to be victims of physical bullying while girls are more likely to be bullied indirectly. The results of a conducted by Cook and published by the in 2010 concluded the main risk factors for children and adolescents being bullied, and also for becoming bullies, are the lack of skills. Children who are bullied often show physical or emotional signs, such as: being afraid to attend school, complaining of headaches or a loss of appetite, a lack of interest in school activities and spending time with friends or family, and having an overall sense of sadness.

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(May 2014) Mona O'Moore of the Anti-Bullying Centre at Trinity College in Dublin, has written, 'There is a growing body of research which indicates that individuals, whether child or adult, who are persistently subjected to abusive behavior are at risk of stress related illness which can sometimes lead to suicide'. Those who have been the targets of bullying can suffer from long term emotional and behavioral problems.

Bullying can cause,,, lead to low and increased susceptibility to illness. Bullying has also been shown to cause maladjustment in young children, and targets of bullying who were also bullies themselves exhibit even greater social difficulties. Main articles: and Even though there is evidence that bullying increases the risk of suicide, bullying alone does not cause suicide. Is one of the main reasons why kids who are bullied commit suicide. It is estimated that between 15 and 25 children commit suicide every year in the UK alone because they are being bullied. Certain attributes of a person are correlated to a higher risk for suicide than others such as: American Indians,,, and people. When someone is unsupported by his or her family or friends, it can make the situation much worse for the victim.

While some people find it very easy to ignore a bully, others may find it very difficult and reach a breaking point. There have been cases of apparent bullying suicides that have been reported closely by the media. These include the deaths of,,,,,,, Jessica Haffer, Hamed Nastoh, April Himes, Cherice Moralez and Rebecca Ann Sedwick.

According to the suicide awareness voices for education, suicide is one of the leading causes of death for youth from 15 to 24 years old. Over 16 percent of students seriously consider suicide, 13 percent create a plan, and 8 percent have made a serious attempt. Violence Serial killers were frequently bullied through direct and indirect methods as children or adolescents., a serial killer and diagnosed psychopath, said the ridicule and rejection he suffered as a child caused him to hate everyone which he believes to have evoked this behavior., a serial killer and member of the, was teased as a child because he urinated in his pants and suffered twitching, and as a teenager was ignored by his peers. It is realised from these recent studies that individuals who were previously involved in a violent childhood whom was effected mentally and emotionally due these experiences later rationally adapts this violent behaviour and provokes other victims. This violent behavior that is performed by these so-called serial killers allows these individuals to escape from their past of feeling trapped and weak to taking control over innocent victim. Positive development Some have argued that bullying can teach life lessons and instill strength. Helene Guldberg, a child development academic, sparked controversy when she argued that being a target of bullying can teach a child 'how to manage disputes and boost their ability to interact with others', and that teachers should not intervene, but leave children to respond to the bullying themselves.

The teaching of such anti-bullying coping skills to 'would-be-targets' and to others has been found to be an effective long term means of reducing bullying incidence rates and a valuable skill-set for individuals. Main article: A bully may project his/her own feelings of vulnerability onto the target(s) of the bullying activity. Despite the fact that a bully's typically denigrating activities are aimed at the bully's targets, the true source of such negativity is ultimately almost always found in the bully's own sense of personal insecurity and/or vulnerability. Such aggressive projections of displaced negative emotions can occur anywhere from the micro-level of interpersonal relationships, all the way up through to the macro-level of international politics, or even international armed conflict. Emotional intelligence. Main article: Bullying is abusive social interaction between peers which can include aggression, harassment, and violence.

Bullying is typically repetitive and enacted by those who are in a position of over the victim. A growing body of research illustrates a significant relationship between bullying and (EI). Et al., (2008) defines the dimensions of overall EI as: 'accurately perceiving emotion, using emotions to facilitate thought, understanding emotion, and managing emotion'. The concept combines emotional and intellectual processes.

Lower emotional intelligence appears to be related to involvement in bullying, as the bully and/or the victim of bullying. EI seems to play an important role in both bullying behavior and in bullying; given that EI is illustrated to be malleable, EI education could greatly improve bullying prevention and intervention initiatives. Context Cyberbullying. Main article: Cyberbullying is any bullying done through the use of technology.

This form of bullying can easily go undetected because of lack of parental/authoritative supervision. Because bullies can pose as someone else, it is the most anonymous form of bullying. Cyberbullying includes, but is not limited to, abuse using email, instant messaging, text messaging, websites, social networking sites, etc.

With the creation of social networks like,,, and, cyberbullying has increased. Particular watchdog organizations have been designed to contain the spread of cyberbullying. Disability bullying. Main article: It has been noted that disabled people are disproportionately affected by bullying and abuse, and such activity has been cited as a hate crime.

The bullying is not limited to those who are visibly disabled, such as wheelchair-users or physically deformed such as those with a cleft lip, but also those with learning disabilities, such as and. There is an additional problem that those with learning disabilities are often not as able to explain things to other people, so are more likely to be disbelieved or ignored if they do complain. [ ] Gay bullying. Main article: Legal bullying is the bringing of a to control and punish a person. Legal bullying can often take the form of frivolous, repetitive, or burdensome lawsuits brought to intimidate the defendant into submitting to the litigant's request, not because of the legal merit of the litigant's position, but principally due to the defendant's inability to maintain the legal battle.

This can also take the form of. It was partially concern about the potential for this kind of abuse that helped to fuel the in the United States in 2011 and 2012. Military bullying. See also:,, and Parents who may their anger, insecurity, or a persistent need to dominate and upon their children in excessive ways have been proven to increase the likelihood that their own children will in turn become overly aggressive or controlling towards their peers. Islamic Movies Free Download In Hindi. The advises on its website that parents who may suspect that their own children may be engaging in bullying activities among their peers should carefully consider the examples which they themselves may be setting for their own children regarding how they typically interact with their own peers, colleagues, and children. Prison bullying. Main article: Bullying can occur in nearly any part in or around the school building, although it may occur more frequently during physical education classes and activities such as recess.

Bullying also takes place in school hallways, bathrooms, on school buses and while waiting for buses, and in classes that require group work and/or after school activities. Bullying in school sometimes consists of a group of students taking advantage of or isolating one student in particular and gaining the loyalty of bystanders who want to avoid becoming the next target. In the 2011 documentary, we see first hand the torture that kids go through both in school and while on the school bus. As the movie follows around a few kids we see how bullying affects them both at school as well as in their homes. While bullying has no age limit, these bullies may taunt and tease their target before finally physically bullying them.

Bystanders typically choose to either participate or watch, sometimes out of fear of becoming the next target. Bullying can also be perpetrated by teachers and the school system itself; there is an inherent power differential in the system that can easily predispose to subtle or covert abuse ( or ),, or exclusion — even while maintaining overt commitments to anti-bullying policies. In 2016, in Canada, a North American legal precedent was set by a mother and her son, after the son was bullied in his public school. The mother and son won a court case against the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board, making this the first case in North America where a school board has been found negligent in a bullying case for failing to meet the standard of care (the 'duty of care' that the school board owes to its students).

Thus, it sets a precedent of a school board being found liable in negligence for harm caused to a child, because they failed to protect a child from the bullying actions of other students. There has been only one other similar bullying case and it was won in Australia in 2013 (Oyston v.

Patricks College, 2013). Sexual bullying. Main article: Workplace bullying occurs when an employee experiences a persistent pattern of mistreatment from others in the workplace that causes harm. Workplace bullying can include such tactics as,,, abuse and. This type of is particularly difficult because, unlike the typical forms of, workplace bullies often operate within the established rules and policies of their organization and their society.

Bullying in the workplace is in the majority of cases reported as having been perpetrated by someone in authority over the target. However, bullies can also be peers, and occasionally can be subordinates. The first known documented use of 'workplace bullying' is in 1992 in a book by called Bullying at Work: How to Confront and Overcome It. Research has also investigated the impact of the larger organizational context on bullying as well as the group-level processes that impact on the incidence, and maintenance of bullying behavior. Bullying can be covert or overt. It may be missed by superiors or known by many throughout the organization. Negative effects are not limited to the targeted individuals, and may lead to a decline in and a change in.

A has found very low quality to suggest that organizational and individual interventions may prevent bullying behaviors in the workplace. Main article: Bullying in academia is workplace bullying of scholars and staff in academia, especially places of higher education such as colleges and universities. It is believed to be common, although has not received as much attention from researchers as bullying in some other contexts. In blue collar jobs Bullying has been identified as prominent in blue collar jobs, including on oil rigs and in mechanic shops and machine shops. It is thought that intimidation and fear of retribution cause decreased incident reports. In industry sectors dominated by males, typically of little education, where disclosure of incidents are seen as effeminate, reporting in the socioeconomic and cultural milieu of such industries would likely lead to a. This is often used in combination with and of facts to gain favour among higher-ranking.

In information technology. Main article: are commonly the subject of bullying but they are also sometimes the originators of bullying within a school environment. In other areas As the verb to bully is defined as simply 'forcing one's way aggressively or by intimidation', the term may generally apply to any life experience where one is motivated primarily by intimidation instead of by more positive goals, such as mutually shared interests and benefits. As such, any figure of authority or power who may use intimidation as a primary means of motivating others, such as a neighborhood 'protection racket don', a national dictator, a childhood ring-leader, a terrorist, a terrorist organization, or even a ruthless business CEO, could rightfully be referred to as a bully. According to psychologist Pauline Rennie-Peyton, we each face the possibility of being bullied in any phase of our lives.

Inanimate objects Children have been observed bullying anthropomorphic robots designed to assist the elderly. Their attacks start with blocking the robots' paths of movement and then escalate to verbal abuse, hitting and destroying the object. Seventy-five percent of the kids interviewed perceived the robot as 'human-like' yet decided to abuse it anyway, while 35% of the kids who beat up the robot actually did so 'for enjoyment.' Prevention Bullying prevention is the collective effort to prevent, reduce, and stop bullying. Many campaigns and events are designated to bullying prevention throughout the world.

Bullying prevention campaigns and events include:,,,, and. Have also been enacted in 23 of its 50 states, making bullying in schools illegal. Responding to bullying Bullying is typically ongoing and not isolated behaviour. Common ways that people try to respond, are to try to ignore it, to confront the bullies or to turn to an authority figure to try and address it. Ignoring it often does nothing to stop the bullying continuing, and it can become worse over time. It can be important to address bullying behaviour early on, as it can be easier to control the earlier it is detected. Bystanders play an important role in responding to bullying, as doing nothing can encourage it to continue, while small steps that oppose the behaviour can reduce it.

Authority figures can play an important role, such as parents in child or adolescent situations, or supervisors, human-resources staff or parent-bodies in workplace and volunteer settings. Authority figures can be influential in recognising and stopping bullying behaviour, and creating an environment where it doesn't continue. In many situations however people acting as authority figures are untrained and unqualified, do not know how to respond, and can make the situation worse. In some cases the authority figures even support the people doing the bullying, facilitating it continuing and increasing the isolation and marginalising of the target. Some of the most effective ways to respond, are to recognise that harmful behaviour is taking place, and creating an environment where it won't continue. People that are being targeted have little control over which authority figures they can turn to and how such matters would be addressed, however one means of support is to find a counsellor or psychologist that is trained in handling bullying.

Etymology The word ' was first used in the 1530s meaning 'sweetheart', applied to either sex, from the Dutch boel 'lover, brother', probably diminutive of buole 'brother', of uncertain origin (compare with the German buhle 'lover'). The meaning deteriorated through the 17th century through 'fine fellow', 'blusterer', to 'harasser of the weak'. This may have been as a connecting sense between 'lover' and 'ruffian' as in 'protector of a prostitute', which was one sense of 'bully' (though not specifically attested until 1706). The verb 'to bully' is first attested in 1710.

In the past, in American culture, the term has been used differently, as an exclamation/exhortation, in particular famously associated with and continuing to the present in the and also as faint/deprecating praise ('bully for him').

As their children's social world expands parents have less control over their activities and children make their own social choices. In the middle school preadolescent years, they begin to develop more advanced interpersonal relationships, and peer approval and acceptance become more important. In the high school adolescent years peer relationships become even more critical. As teens form close relationships with others, they struggle to understand who they are and where they fit it; they start to form their own identity in relation to others - a critical component of healthy social development. Adolescence is a tough and exciting time, with many biological, cognitive, and social/emotional challenges, as well as the potential for many accomplishments. Most teens navigate these years successfully, but for some these transitional years are socially difficult. Social styles differ -- some teens want to join groups, others prefer one or two close friends.

Some adolescents prefer to be alone but some are socially neglected - they may not be actively put down or excluded from a central group of kids, rather, they're just ignored and often alone. Teens who are different physically, emotionally, or behaviorally may fall in this category. There are also teens who are socially rejected. These youth often make repeated attempts to be part of a group of students but are rejected because they are antagonistic or unable to behave in a socially appropriate manner, such as teens with untreated ADHD or overly aggressive behavior. Some children and teens become victimized by bullies and often feel isolated and insecure; they are at risk for loss of self-esteem, depression and other long-term effects. The problem is pervasive, and each day at least 160,000 children in the United States miss school due to bullying.

Why do some kids act so mean? Why are some kids victimized? Is it just part of growing up, the ordinary give-and-take among kids? Research shows that bullying can take an emotional, as well as a physical, toll.

Joanna, a 7th grader, likes to wear her favorite cap backwards, a style that was mocked by a group of girls in her class. When Joanna continued to wear her cap backwards two girls grabbed it, ran off, and tossed it into a garbage pail. Joanna has begun to find excuses not to go to school.

Eddie, a high school sophomore, wanted to join the track team. Because he's overweight, Eddie was teased by track team members when he tried out; they taunted him by calling him 'tub of lard' or 'fat blimp.' Since then Eddie has complained of vague physical symptoms and has not pursued other sports.

When do cliques and bullies start to matter? Some children show preferences for friends at an early age. By 9 or l0, as children become aware of differences, they begin to form cliques.

At l0 to 12 years of age, as they separate from parents, identification with peers may become exaggerated and cliques may form and change frequently. By middle and high school, as the issue of belonging becomes even more critical, cliques and bullies become more prominent. Bullying in schools peaks in middle school and drops off by grades 11 and 12. Defining cliques Cliques are small, exclusive groups of friends who share common traits and common interests (music, dress, sports, etc.). Each member is either directly or indirectly connected to each other member. Cliques usually refer to groups of girls; however boys are also involved in cliques. There are usually hierarchies of cliques among teens, from the populars to the losers, and there are often many cliques in schools, including jocks, arties, brains, nerds, druggies, freaks, preppies and normals.

Cliques have a positive side Normal adolescent development often revolves around cliques - joining cliques, wanting to join cliques, or being excluded from cliques. Cliques can have a strong positive effect on self-worth. They provide a social niche and help kids develop a sense of belonging, support, and protection.

Cliques boost selfesteem by making kids feel wanted, and they enable the clique member to develop a sense of identity and to regulate social interactions. The downside of cliques Cliques can be hostile to other kids and other cliques. In some cases clique members can become nasty to outsiders by putting them down, using teasing, taunting, backstabbing, and even violence. Although girls are socialized to suppress physical displays of aggression, it can take the form of belittling and intimidating behavior. Cliques can blur individuality and prevent members from mixing with members of other groups. They usually require some degree of conformity - in appearance, attitude, or behavior. They can oust members for no apparent reason, and they can pressure kids into group activities in order to fit in, creating interpersonal conflict and bully behavior.

Defining bullying Some teasing is inevitable in childhood and adolescence. When, however, teasing becomes taunting, the situation becomes serious.

Bullying is an unhealthy situation in which a student or group of students use superior size or power to win concessions over a vulnerable student or group of students. A victim of bullying can be exposed repeatedly and over time to negative actions by one or more students. Negative actions can occur. • verbally through threats, teasing, and name-calling • physically through hitting, pushing, kicking, pinching, or restraining • nonverbally and nonphysically through making faces, obscene gestures, intentionally excluding someone from a group, refusing to comply with someone's wishes, and spreading rumors.

What kids say about being bullied They made fun of me about my hair. It was always frizzy. And it really hurts when I get teased, so I skip recess.

- Anna, 12 They say I'm stupid; I try to ignore it but they keep saying it and they wrote it on my locker. - Dennis, 13 All it did was make me more of a loner. - Alex, 14 I get teased 'cause I'm friends with the nerds. - Cindy, 13 They told everyone I was a slut but it wasn't true. - Elke, 14 Gender differences Both boys and girls bully, but there are differences in their actions. Boys who bully are more likely to be identified because their acts are more physical.

Bullying between girls is generally verbal, more subtle, and indirect, such as ridiculing and starting rumors. Girls tend to bully in a group and victimize girls, while boys tend to bully both girls and boys. Recognizing a bully It is difficult to spot a bully through only brief observation. There are, however, some behaviors and reactions that typically occur between a bully and his/her victims. He may be feared or avoided, or peers may be ingratiating or pandering.

He may be intolerant or judgmental and, although unprovoked, may express anger in verbal or physical actions. What are bullies like? In general bullies • need to feel powerful and in control • choose victims who dislike conflict • are good at talking themselves out of trouble • derive satisfaction from inflicting suffering • lack empathy for victims • explain their actions by complaining that they were provoked • are unhappy at school and do not feel a sense of belonging • are angry, impulsive, and have low self-esteem • are likely to engage in problem behaviors (criminality and drug use) later in life. Recognizing a victim A victim may be reluctant to go to school, complain of frequent illnesses and make trips to the nurse's office, show a drop in grades, come home with torn clothing, bruises, and report 'lost' possessions, be afraid of new things, avoid going to the bathroom in school, show increased anger and irritability, and have few friends. What are victims like? In general victims are • quiet and shy in temperament and sensitive • less inclined to fight back or to be assertive • likely to have few friends and little social support • not confident in their physical abilities and strengths • youngest or newest in a group or school • insecure and have low selfesteem • prone to be anxious, depressed, have physical complaints • sometimes irritating, socially awkward, or insecure • physically weak, easily submit to peer demands, reward attacks by displaying distress or giving up desired resources • often recipients of repeated acts of bullying.

Victims can be passive or proactive. Passive victims are often lonely, have difficulty asserting themselves in a group, react to bullying by crying or withdrawing, and seem to prefer adult company.

They tend to 'normalize' in adulthood but continue to have low self-esteem and are prone to depression. Proactive victims tend to be hot-tempered, hyperactive, and aggressive. At times they can be annoying or irritating to others. They often provoke incidents only to become victimized by their own actions. They may be clumsy or immature and may, in turn, try to bully weaker peers. These kids can be mistaken for bullies because they always seem to be in the middle of fights and arguments.

How Schools Can Help School administrators and teachers must establish school wide initiatives to counteract bullying and to promote pro-social behavior, encompassing the following principles: Differentiate between bullying and normal conflict Conflicts are part of childhood and can develop within or outside of a clique. Students in middle and high school struggle to individuate and define themselves and are involved in many normal conflicts. Conflict is not necessarily bullying. It's not bullying when teasing is friendly and playful or when two students of about equal strength or power argue or fight.

When children are part of normal conflict they are learning many new skills, such as negotiation, compromise, and resolution. Bully/victim conflicts, however, are not healthy under any circumstance, and children should not be expected to handle bullies on their own. Once a bully situation is identified adults must act immediately, take a strong stand, and trust the victim.

Help and training to handle conflicts should be provided. Schools can use strategies such as anger management, conflict resolution, mediation and open communication. A brief description of each of these strategies follows: Anger management teaches individuals to control anger rather than having anger control them.

They learn to become aware of anger signs in themselves, to back off, cool down, and take time out. This gives them time to review their choices, consider the consequences of each choice, and pick the safest one. Conflict resolution teaches individuals to think about the conflict and their own part in it, to talk about it and listen carefully to the other person. This will set the stage for working conflict out and arriving at a compromise so everyone wins. Mediation involves asking a third party to help students talk and listen to each other. Each expresses their side of the conflict. Options for resolution are created and an agreement is reached.

Bullying prevention programs Effective bullying prevention programs can be implemented in school settings. To be effective the program should be permanent, rather than temporary, and administered by adults who are positive role models. The program should work to develop a school (and ideally a home) environment characterized by: Positive interest and involvement by adults Firm limits to unacceptable behavior Non-hostile, non-physical negative consequences for inappropriate behavior. In addition, students must understand that the appropriate response to violence is reporting it to an adult, such as a parent or school faculty.